I've been quiet but I've been busy

Life sometimes throws you lemons.

Sometimes it doesn't just rain it pours.

And sometimes the glass isn't half full it's empty.

Well that's how I am feeling at the moment. I am however waking up everyday and fighting those feelings. Trying to stay positive.  Trying to find my balance again.

I won't go into all the little details of my dirty laundry, it doesn't really matter, my life is all a bit jumbled at the moment and I have to put the pieces back together. Which i know I'm strong enough to do.

When I feel this out of sorts i like to make gratitude lists to keep me focused on whats important.

Heres my list:

1. My beautiful son
2. My supportive family
3. Having a roof over my head even if it's not mine.
4. Having food on the table every day.
5. Having work even if it is not quite enough to get by.
6. Being on meds that keep me stable.
7. Having hope that I still have a relationship even if its a bit complicated right now.
8. Finding Aiden a great new school
9. Getting another chance to change the course of my future.
10. Tea :)

There are always things worth fighting for and living for we just have to remember them.

Love from Bear

Potty training debacle continued

I wouldn't say it's getting easier or that we getting it right but my child does wear underpants most parts of the day.

Yes I'm cleaning lots of puddles off the floor.

No he isn't really phased whether he makes it to the potty in the time.

And yes I have scooped poop up off the floor.

Motherhood is really glamorous at the best of times.

I told his school if they want pull up nappies they more than welcome to buy them but I can't afford them and they not helping my son learn he needs to use a toilet.

I had he wonderful sperm donor tell me I am a bad mother because he is still in nappies, thats what he tells me when he hasn't seen his son for over a year but hey who cares what he thinks any ways.

Going to make a rewards chart thingy and give him treats when he gets it right, maybe that will work. Maybe not. But will try it.

All in all it is getting better.

I think.

Well I am not so stressed out over it any more, we all eventually learn to use a toilet,right.

Love from Bear