Life changes...remember to live it

If I close my eyes and think where I was last year this time and what my life consisted of, I can't believe the change, I can't remember where the time went, actually I can, it went to stressing, worrying, fighting, illness and negativity. I spent so much time focusing on all the things that were going wrong, yes things were bad all around but I forgot to live my life.

I forgot to love Aiden every day and revel in his stage of growth at the time. I forgot to lay in the sun and see the beauty in the summer. I forgot to visit friends that relationships have now weakened. I forgot to make time for myself for what I enjoy. I forgot to work at my relationship and nearly lost it because of it. I forgot to let my family know how much they mean to me.

I lost out.

I lost out on a whole year of my life because my focus was all in the wrong places.

I am in a much different frame of mind now ( yes meds made a huge difference ) but now I stop to smell the roses. Now that I am working 9-5 I appreciate those 2 days I get to spend with my family, partner and son every week. I wake up excited for the day ahead and what it brings, good or bad, I see the light and maybe I am not out of the tunnel yet but everything has a warm glow and I find myself finally living life again.

Don't forget, don't live in yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow, all we can do is right now and yes it might sound cliche' but don't wake up one day and feel like you lost out on a whole portion on your life because as much as you wish you could go back for those cuddles with your child and kiss your mom before you leave her house on Sundays and lay on that blanket and seep up the summer sun, you can't.

I am guilty of living in the past and guilty of stressing about the future, I consume my mind and soul with worry and I have missed out on so much instead of just simply, enjoying today.

Love from Bear