Relationships (not the movie kind)

Relationships are hard. Whether you are married, living together, not living together, whether it's been one month or 10 years. They take work and commitment, patience and communication.

Maybe they are a little harder when you throw in a kid, a kid that in the beginning isn't his and then kind of becomes quite his but still not quite his. Then there is that, which is a second relationship within an already hard relationship.

Then throw in some bi-polar and an anxiety disorder, a dying granny, 2 crazy extended families who work very differently, some money troubles, a hectic festive season and BANG, explosion.

It takes just one sentence to let loose a catastrophe, one word to crush a heart into a million pieces, one word to make you question all the love and all the time already been spent, it takes just those few words and your whole life can be completely different.

Those words make you cry and scream and eat chocolate but they also make you question every thing, them, you and whether it was all just in your head. Was the love just a game, was it just for now, was it really just another wrong choice because shit, I have done that a good few times.

But then you get this one feeling, and I have never felt it with any one else, that this is it, that it can't have gone so wrong so quickly, that no matter what words were said and what actions were made, the love is real enough for forgiveness and acceptance, that shit happens.

People do things, crazy, irrational things all the time. I know I have and still do (bi-polar here, hello) I'm the queen of hasty, queen of nasty and queen of thinking the worst at the most stupid and unrealistic points.

In relationships, real ones, not the movie kind of ones, they don't always go to smoothly and when you calculate the damage caused by past hurts and betrayals, some times you have to tread carefully, some times you have to take a step back and both breathe because if you don't, it can end all so quickly way before it's time.

Fight for who you are and never loose sight of that but fight for those you love because a world without people, people you love, is not a world at all.

Love from Bear