Changes and dreams

There are years that ask questions and years that answer - Zora Neale Hurston

I stopped making New Year Resolutions last year as I always failed them rather quickly. Personal opinion, they kind of made to be broken and it's setting up yourself to feel like a failure.

I know this year I want to make a lot of changes, there are a lot of things I want to achieve and a lot of new and old goals I want to get to.

2013 was a rough year, a challenging year, it challenged my personal strength in tremendous ways, it forced me to look inside myself and see what is wrong, how I am damaged, how I perceive my reality and what my life really is from the inside.

Every one around me see's me as this strong, independent woman, which I am in a lot of ways but in many more ways I am broken, and I broke this year, my weaknesses came shining through and it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me because now I see my future and I see who I want to be again as a person, I found my soul again, I found my inspiration. 

So instead of resolutions I have aspirations.

So what do I want to change...

1. I want to learn to be patient with others because no one person thinks the same way.

2. I want to be a more compassionate and nurturing mother, I'm great at the providing aspects and spoiling       aspects but my natural motherhood needs a lot of work.

3. I want to learn to love, I love internally, I will never outwardly express my feelings for any one.

4. I want to learn to be optimistic.  I have a nasty habit of seeing the bad and missing the good.

5. I want to forgive, not others but myself, I truly am my worst enemie and my biggest critic.

What are my goals...

1. My health, I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance and I really am failing most days at beating bad habits,     I'm 5kgs down but I have 8.5kgs to go before I reach my goal.

2. I want to run a 10km race. Why, I dont know, I just want to prove that I can.

3. I want to stop smoking, I really do, I just need to figure out how.

4. I will defeat my fear of driving.

5. I want to take my business to a whole new level and double its annual turnover.

My dreams...

Are simple, I want to be happy, not tomorrow but today and every day. I want to love my life in each moment and stop waiting for something else, something more because that want never goes away but now is gone in a second and you can never get it back, it's a mere moment but it's your moment to live and to conquer.

Love from Bear