Week 6 on A New Weigh

I am half way through my challenge and last week I had a little stumble or maybe a big stumble, either way I fell of the wagon and ate a whole lot of crap over the weekend. I knew it would effect my weigh in but thank the stars I didn't gain any weight, I lost 0.1kgs and 2.5cm's.

I'm still very far from my target but hoping to loose at least another 5 in the remainder of this challenge. I am still battling with the exercise, maybe it's the cold, pure laziness, me always feeling ill, having a child and little time and a little bit of hating anything vaguely sporty.

But I'm still going and still trying and that counts for something.

And my support group is kicking ass and are a lot of inspiration on all my bad days.

Go check out A New Weigh for more info and give them a like over on Facebook!

Endless battles with feeding my kid

The blog world this week has lit up with how to feed your kid and what is healthy and what is not healthy and how bad kids menu's are at resturants.

Now I agree with some of it and disagree with some of it.

I agree we should teach our kids from young what is healthy and what is not, I don't agree with being an insane mom who smothers her child with cucumber and the latest trend of what is acceptable eating.

Spur for example is fun and their food is fun, I take my child to Spur for fun, I don't go to Spur and eat salad, I eat buffalo wings and chips with blue cheese sauce and I enjoy it, not daily or weekly but as a now and again treat, if they took mac n cheese off the kiddies menu my kid would literally not eat!

Now my kid is a picky eater and as I was raised I do not force feed him anything, if he isn't hungry he doesn't have to eat and if he doesn't like what is made he can choose an option that is easily prepared or what I buy in advance, like Woolies kiddies mac n cheese (Aidens version is awesome noodles), shop bought muffins, bovril toast, yogurt, porraige or fish fingers.

He doesn't like veg.

He doesn't like meat.

He doesn't like rice or potatoes.

I don't like most veg, I don't like my food touching or stews and soups. I don't like cottage pie and I hate salad. I don't eat it but I still eat a healthy diet.

Fair enough my kid isn't eating a balanced diet but he isn't malnourished or some crazy zombie child. He is a kid. I apparently would only eat spaghetti bolognaise as a kid and I am perfectly fine adjusted adult. Yes a tad over weight from pregnancy and being insulin resistant but definitely not from mac n cheese and chicken nuggets as a kid.

For some reason Aiden will eat all food at school, teachers say it's a monkey see, monkey do effect so I know at least 5 days out the week for breakfast, snack and lunch he is getting in all his veggies, protein, fruit and dairy so I am not to phased about the other meals being less than adequate.

Maybe I am a bad parent or a lazy one but I'm not going to make my kid scared of food, of eating or having fun. There should be balance in everything, parenting today has become so structured,  so rigid, so fad related and high strung.

Let kids be kids, hot dogs on white bread and all!

Week 4 and 5 - A New Weigh

I didn't post last week, I was super busy with a hundred different jobs and couldn't squeeze any thing in.

I'm really happy,  over the last 2 weeks I've lost another 1.5kgs and 10 centimeters bringing me to a total loss of 4.5kgs and 30.5cm's!

I'm finally under the 70kg mark and only 10kgs to go before my goal weight.

I've been struggling with exercising which I normally do but I jaf an adjustment in meds and been feeling ill for weeks but going to force myself to get my ass moving this week so I can start toning my body as well.

Dear Mommy

You seriously are the best (even when we screaming at each other)

You raised us to be our own person, you pushed us to be unique even if that meant screwing up, you never asked us to be any one but ourselves.

You not a nagging mother, you always gave us our freedom to do what we want and with whim we want, you probably wish you saw us less instead of always moaning about never seeing you like other moms.

You have never once stopped helping us even as adults, supporting, encouraging, building up our dreams, being a shoulder to cry on, helping me raise my little runt and pushing us to be the best we can be, nothing more, nothing less, just the best us.

You raised us with high morals and good manners. You instilled generousity, compassion and sympathy in our hearts by the way you live your life.

You never stop loving us no matter what terrible deed we've done,  how badly we mess up and even when we not so nice to you, your love is always unconditional and always felt.

I hope I can be half the mother you are to Aiden. You are my role model, my friend and my rock.

Love you to the moon and back.

Happy Mothers Day
XXX

What it means to me

It is Mothers Day on Sunday and every year since I fell pregnant I kind of hide away from the day, it makes me sad, it brings up guilt, the past shows it's shiny face and I spend a lot of time crying.

You would think I would leave that for Fathers Day but then I just spoil Aiden rotten.

Mothers Day makes me sad because it reminds me of the situation Aiden has been born into, one I never dreamed of as a little girl having for her life. It reminds me how I failed, myself and my son, how I didn't get it right.

It brings so much guilt I feel nauseous, because as a mother I am supposed to protect and I never got the chance or the choice to do so.

The past comes knocking and all the emotions I felt back when I first fell pregnant and the first year, it all comes back and floods me and overwhelms me and I sit and wonder what I could have done differently. What could I have done to save the situation, fix it all for my son's sake.

And to top it off it makes me feel alone, that single mom feeling never quite leaves. Mothers Day is a reminder of that, that this is my 3rd one, 3 years I have survived doing this on my own.

I wish every mother, no matter what her situation a Happy Mothers Day, that she will stand tall and feel proud of what she has accomplished. Feel loved and needed and appreciated and that someone, anyone takes out the time to make her feel that way and if no one is there to do so, go buy yourself those flowers or bubble bath because you deserve it!

Week 3...digging deep

I wasn't going to do a post today.

Loosing weight is a touchy subject to begin with, sharing it with the world on a public forum isn't as easy as I thought it would be, but being honest is what I am best at.

So I cried this morning when I got on the scale and the numbers hadn't gone down for the second row running.

Now part of A New Weigh is 24 hour support which is incredible, I'm in a group of 12 woman who are doing the challenge and on Mondays we share our loss. Theirs are all great and mine isn't shifting. Which can be disheartening.

I did loose another 5cm and I feel great, I feel lighter,  my clothes are getting looser and I'm not so bloated any more but not seeing that number go down breaks my heart. 

I know it's my insulin resistance, I know there is a chance my body won't shift the weight, I know it's an extra hurdle I have to cross that other woman don't but it still sucks.

I am not giving up though, Gaelyn (the most awesome couch) has given me some tips and adjustments to help me along and I am really going to push the cardio as I know it makes a difference with my insulin levels.

I will reach my goal weight. I will keep trying. I will not quit.