Week 3...digging deep

I wasn't going to do a post today.

Loosing weight is a touchy subject to begin with, sharing it with the world on a public forum isn't as easy as I thought it would be, but being honest is what I am best at.

So I cried this morning when I got on the scale and the numbers hadn't gone down for the second row running.

Now part of A New Weigh is 24 hour support which is incredible, I'm in a group of 12 woman who are doing the challenge and on Mondays we share our loss. Theirs are all great and mine isn't shifting. Which can be disheartening.

I did loose another 5cm and I feel great, I feel lighter,  my clothes are getting looser and I'm not so bloated any more but not seeing that number go down breaks my heart. 

I know it's my insulin resistance, I know there is a chance my body won't shift the weight, I know it's an extra hurdle I have to cross that other woman don't but it still sucks.

I am not giving up though, Gaelyn (the most awesome couch) has given me some tips and adjustments to help me along and I am really going to push the cardio as I know it makes a difference with my insulin levels.

I will reach my goal weight. I will keep trying. I will not quit.

Week 2 on A New Weigh

The last week was a bit rough, I had a complete change in routine as I am substitute designing for another agency and when I change routine my body goes into panic, a little bit of insulin resistance and bipolar and I'm off the edge.

I managed to stick to the diet but the exercise was put on the backside with pure exhaustion and me being used to exercising in the morning.

I didn't loose weight but thankfully didn't put any on, I did loose 8.5 centimeters so at least my body is still getting smaller and that's the goal. So still on track!

A New Weigh

Today is the start of my A New Weigh 12 week challenge! I am so excited and so scared all at the same time.

I have never eally struggled with my weight till last year when in 6 months I picked up 10kgs for no reason at all, my doctor tested for everything and eventually diagnosed me with Insulin Resistance and put me on diabetic meds and sent me to a dietitian, I managed to loose 5kgs there but then my body just stopped and I lost moral to carry on and in the last 3 months picked it all up again and screwed up my insulin levels all over again and if I carry on this way I will end up being diabetic.

And so I start a new journey and a new challenge to try correct my heads way of seeing food and fitness.

I will catch up with you weekly on how it is going and how I am loosing and after 12 weeks will share with closed eyes my before shots and hopefully amazing after shots.

Here's to a new me.

Changes and dreams

There are years that ask questions and years that answer - Zora Neale Hurston

I stopped making New Year Resolutions last year as I always failed them rather quickly. Personal opinion, they kind of made to be broken and it's setting up yourself to feel like a failure.

I know this year I want to make a lot of changes, there are a lot of things I want to achieve and a lot of new and old goals I want to get to.

2013 was a rough year, a challenging year, it challenged my personal strength in tremendous ways, it forced me to look inside myself and see what is wrong, how I am damaged, how I perceive my reality and what my life really is from the inside.

Every one around me see's me as this strong, independent woman, which I am in a lot of ways but in many more ways I am broken, and I broke this year, my weaknesses came shining through and it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me because now I see my future and I see who I want to be again as a person, I found my soul again, I found my inspiration. 

So instead of resolutions I have aspirations.

So what do I want to change...

1. I want to learn to be patient with others because no one person thinks the same way.

2. I want to be a more compassionate and nurturing mother, I'm great at the providing aspects and spoiling       aspects but my natural motherhood needs a lot of work.

3. I want to learn to love, I love internally, I will never outwardly express my feelings for any one.

4. I want to learn to be optimistic.  I have a nasty habit of seeing the bad and missing the good.

5. I want to forgive, not others but myself, I truly am my worst enemie and my biggest critic.

What are my goals...

1. My health, I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance and I really am failing most days at beating bad habits,     I'm 5kgs down but I have 8.5kgs to go before I reach my goal.

2. I want to run a 10km race. Why, I dont know, I just want to prove that I can.

3. I want to stop smoking, I really do, I just need to figure out how.

4. I will defeat my fear of driving.

5. I want to take my business to a whole new level and double its annual turnover.

My dreams...

Are simple, I want to be happy, not tomorrow but today and every day. I want to love my life in each moment and stop waiting for something else, something more because that want never goes away but now is gone in a second and you can never get it back, it's a mere moment but it's your moment to live and to conquer.

Love from Bear

Roasted Garlic & Rosemary Pumpkin Hummus

Since being diagnosed with Insulin Resistance I have tried a few things out and Hummus is something I'm allowed and is something I have actually learned to love. This is a different spin on the traditional Hummus but it is divine!


Try it out for your pre-dinner snacks with veggies or crisps.

INGREDIENTS

• 1-2 cloves roasted garlic (see #1)

• 2 tablespoons olive oil

• 2 tablespoons water

• 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

• ⅔ cup pumpkin puree

• 1 tablespoon maple syrup or honey

• ½ teaspoon finely minced fresh rosemary (more to taste) salt to taste

INSTRUCTIONS

1. To roast the garlic, I like to simmer the peeled cloves in a small saucepan with olive oil for 15-20 minutes over low/medium heat. The garlic gets the roast-y flavor and then you get some bonus garlic infused olive oil out of the deal. Bam.
2. Puree all ingredients except rosemary in a blender or food processor until smooth. Add more oil or water as needed. Stir in the rosemary (I found that the blender didn’t really like the tough rosemary pieces in there so I just stirred it in at the end).
3. Serve with warm naan, apple slices, crackers, carrots, wheat toast, roasted vegetables, pita bread, and/or anything in the world.

Love from Bear

P.S I got the recipe from Pinch of Yum

When your doctor tells you...

When your doctor tells you it's not your fault you fat but you going to have to work twice as hard to loose the weight as any other person, as first you need to always be leveling your insulin levels and then only your body can loose weight.

I didn't put too much weight on during pregnancy and I lost quite a bit of it over Aidens first year but at the beginning of this year I started picking up a bit. So I went on a diet, a few diets, from natural clean eating to starving myself with shakes and instead of loosing I gained and gained and gained.

In the space of 7 months I gained 9kg's!!!

I knew something couldn't be right so we ran some tests thinking maybe a thyroid problem but nope, I am Insulin Resistance, in another term Pre-diabetic.

Now its great having your doctor telling you it's not your fault you fat but not so great when they tell you, you going to have to work your backside off to reverse the diagnosis and to loose the weight.

And they weren't joking.

The last 6 months I have been healthier than I have ever been, I even go to gym a few times a week, okay there are times I have fallen off the wagon buy in general I have been following my strict rules of being diabetic.

It's taken 6 months to loose 5kgs and it's tough to stay motivated when it comes off so slowly but if I think if in another 6 months I will have lost 10kgs it keeps me going.

Insulin Resistance is on the rise and lots of woman have it without knowing and if you wait to long it will turn to diabetes, go get tested and while you at it do the whole mammogram and all the others we supposed to do.

Love from Bear